short lived

im dissapointed in myself. i could just type that sentence and that would be all i needed to put in this blog. 50nl went horrible. just to start the blog i got beat back down to 25nl. to recap my play at 50nl i think i played about 2 1/2 weeks of it maybe but in the beggining i was taking it slow to see any major changes so i wouldnt take any big hit right off the bat. i reallized there a bit more aggressive and a few other things but all of wich i expected from the next level in stakes. well from there i started playing all four tables of 50nl and it was like the week days with mostly regs playing being pretty aggressive in decent spots. so i up'd my aggression, in a way the level made me play out of my boundaries which was good but more bad than good. then the weeknd rolled around where there was a decent amount of fish. there were really aggressive as well but not smart aggressive just dumb aggresive and i think it tilted me unknowingly. i lost a bit that weeknd and then the whole next week i played like a moron i was totally off my game and i suffered the price. i think one thing was that when i started at 50nl i felt i either deserved to win or i was entitled to but neither happend and i fell fast and hard. i had a couple buy ins left at 50nl but i decided to get a head start on 25nl and jump back down in stakes. i dont have a problem moving down in stakes but i dont like feeling defeated. i played yesterday but wasnt really into it and decided to quit after losing a buy in. i went to the state fair later that day with friends had a blast and almost puked from the rides. it was raining and we were cold and tired but it was a great time i came home and went straight to bed. i was playing today and started off decent won a couple buy ins and it was going fine. then i lost a couple in some bad spots. took forever for me to flop a set like 500 hands and when i finally did the guy had an over set. then i got into another cooler and my last all in i had kk and the guy called all the way down with 66 making a runner runner straigth on the river for the rest of the stack from then i decided i really wouldnt be able to play right and cut my losses and jumped on here im down to 493 i had it up to 515 today before all that happend and when i was playing 50nl i had it up to 1225 at one point so you can tell how im feeling right now. actually i want to play i want to take an hour break and then jump into it again but im not going to im not gonna play the rest of the day or tomorow and just settle down try to get back to me and get back at the games. right now i think im in the middle of a downswing as well as playing bad the past couple weeks but i still believe im a winning player at 25nl. and if i get another shot at 50nl im really gonna take my time and i do believe i can beat 50nl. i do believe in myself and i believe in the end ill be a winning player. i have 38,500 fpps left which will let me play more 5400 fpp satalites for 215 a pop hopefully i get lucky enough 2 win at least 2 and then rebuild from there. ive been thinking about super nova elite pursuit latley. if i ever know that im going to have the time i am going to go for it. say i get fired or like my union kicks me out for some reason or i know im not gonna work for 8-12 months than i will go for it i kinda ran the numbers out and you can do it in 6 months running 24 tables but itll take 12 hours a day for 6 months and thats a hard grind on the body. 8-12 months is a lot more leanient and verry do able. i have plenty of money in my reall bank account so onone point its histarical that i feel so down about loosing 200$ or even going from 1225-500$ is pretty small amount to me considering how much money i have. but that just shows how much winning means to me. its obviously not about the money at this point its about being able to beat the game and not being able to make you hingry for success once you beat the game then you can worry about making money. im really trying though even if it takes me a couple years i really want to win and i plan on keeping this game a part of my life even if i am a loser in the end but i wont get out of control with it lol i know my boundaries and i am very stingy when it comes to money so i dont spend that much lol. but back to sne. to accomplish sne i would 24 table 100nl full ring. ive never 24 tabled before i think the most ive done is 8 but i would invest in table ninja as well as hem just to make it that much easier and so i can record my results. even if i was a losing player if i made sne i would still come out ahead in the money because of the fpp bonuses. ive played with people that are down 40k from cash games but they are sne and are actaully making money because of the bonuses. you make 4k a month from the bonuses and then they give you i think 2 tourney tickes ones like 5200$ for the main event at the wcoop and then another one which you can just turn those to tourney dollars and sell them so even if you lost 20k in cash games youd still come out of the year woth well above that now if you could be a break even player or even just a slight winner you would make a lot of money wich i see now why there are so many regs at 100nl and 200nl 24 tabling. but to me its a pretty far off thaught cause unless somthing goes horribly wrong i probablly wont ever get that shot but i will if iget the chance. back to reality... lol m next post is going to be about my upcoming golas for the next year in poker i get done with my summer season usually around nov. 1st and i think this year there wont be much of a winter season for me which is fine so i will have months to grind if i dont work this winter. i have a lot of details to talk about next week and big plans im super excited to reveal my secret ive been hiding since i started this blog even though no one reads it lol. but ill save it for next week. i gotta get my head right for this next week thoug so laters.


ok so im reveiwied my play for the week and the hands that i have been losing the majority of were either coolers or suckouts. im not complainging im jsut stating. but i also want to state that mainly when the pot gets big or on the river i really need to think hands threw. i do think about the hands but most the times for like 5 seconds then i quick call if i think im ahead and prolly only 50% of the time when that happens i only win half the time. so im jotting it down on the blog cause it makes it easier for me to actually commit to it when i record it but i think one of the biggest leaks to my game is not taking enough time to think the hand threw i really really need to do that but yeah i wanted to post that so that i burn it into my head

oh one more thing i forgot to talk about is my bankroll, more improtantlly my buyins i read a lot of other peoples blogs and a lot of other things and sometimes actually a lot of the time when they are in the middle of a downswing they can loose like 30 buyins ( thats on the extreme side but ive seen it) so what this shows to me is that these guys really under play their bankroll what im saying is for a basic stratagey of bakroll managment they say 20 buyins once you loose 10 you go to the next lower level so that you will always have 20 buy ins. i think that pertains more towards live play cause its a little easier to beat and thus your bad swings arnt as bad as online. so what im getting at is that the reason most of the regs have such a huge bankroll compared to the limits their playing is because they leave theirselfs enough room to go on a downstreak and still recover from it with out having to move down, which is a really good stratagey it gives yourself the same amount of time at the same level to recover vs. having to move down and it taking twice as long to try and just get back to when you started to lose. so im going to go about that stratagey starting now. im not going to have a set buy ins that i need to get to so that i can play at the next level ill just see how the games are and ease into them but if im losing ill move down to the next levels when i have 20 buyins for that next level. so instead of moving up in stake when i have 15 or 20 buy ins for the next higher level ( total bankroll). ill probablly under play my bankroll like the regs and prolly have like 40 buy ins or somthing before i start easing into the next level, but if i lose i at the current stakes i play at then ill drop down when i reash 20 buys ins at the next lower stakes... i know a lot of mumbo jumbo but i wanted to add it in :)