rock bottom for the summer

well i hit an ultimate low for the summer in all aspects of life so this is what this post will be explaining. be warned there will be plenty of juicy details but also plenty of complaining.

ill start with life first since its the more juicy details. well me and the girl ive been seeing from the beginning of the summer just went through some roughness. on monday we ended up getting into a tiff which sparked an argument and we both said some pretty mean and regrettable things to each other and she left after we were done fighting. thursday she came over to talk about things and we discussed a lot about me and her which went a little like this.

basically the fight made her start thinking about me and her together. i also was thinking the same thing. we both like each other a lot but her emotions are growing for me and i am able to keep mine where they are at. i never intended to get really serious with her and she understood that but with anybody, attachment is inevitable. it basically came down to we werent right for each other. we do have a great connection and chemistry, the sex is great, and everything is perfect for a short term relationship. the only thing is that we would not last as a long term relationship at all and thats what it came down to. she was getting more feelings and started looking at the relationship going further but she knew we wouldnt work as did i. she wanted to just be friends and i agreed.

i cried after she left cause although i never intended to date her for a long time she filled my emptiness and made me feel validated. when she left it was all gone. breakups are never easy but after i went to sleep thinking about it i woke up refreshed. the best thing about me learning all this day game that i never had before is that when a relationship ends i now know how to get another girl in my life. although im not "over" her quite yet i know there will be other girls. doesnt mean im not sad still :(

another good thing is that she really does want to keep contact with me and i can really use a female like her as a friend. she understands me and gets who i am so i can turn to her for a lot of female advice. a little suprise though is that she came over today cause we agreed on being crazy and have "break up sex". i told her would want more and she said she can come over every friday for sex and thats it which is fine. i can tell she doesnt want to let go cause i really do mean somthing to her but im just not the guy that would be able to be with her which i totally agree with. so it looks like that came to a halt about a month before i thought it would. since my last long term relationship about 2.5 years ago i had a couple short occurances with girls in my life and then a girl i dated for about a month in washington so this girl was the closest thing for me getting back into the dating world. it kinda made me question what ireally wanted. i think this subjext is long enough so i might do another post on the details a bit later.

poker was amazing, it just sucks that it wasnt amazing in a good way lol. i hit a cold deck like i never have before i such a short period of time (1 hour). so this is how the first hand goes. i flop middle set on a A Q J board. turn is a Q and river is an A and guy shoves for his remaining 50bb, i sigh and fold. no biggie right, what ever. next scenario i bluff off 50bb (i dont bluff that much in 10nl) another no biggie. now the sparks fly. i raise pre with 66 and get 2 callers. flop comes J 7 4. both players have a high vpip so i feel like this flop is dry enough i can stab at it even though i have a little equity. both players call. turn is a 6. alright! with both players calling than they should be able to call again i bet 3/4 pot. both call. river is an A kinda crappy card but people dont fold i shove they both call villan 1 has JJ and villan 2 has 77. yeah set over set over set how often does that happen. 5 hands later i have 66 raise pre and get like 4 callers flop comes 6 5 2. i bet out and player to my left raises. i feel like he has an over pair so i just smooth call. turn i like a 9 or somthing. since i called if he does have an over pair he might check through so i lead out about half pot and he shoves i call hes got 34 and holds. 2 hands later it folds to the hijack who raises. cutoff 3 bets really small. i feel like they were both stealing. i have kk on the button i just flat call. hijack 4 bets small, cutoff flats and i min 5 bet. hijack folds and cutoff shoves and i call AA vs KK and hijack says he had KK as well. last hand  theres a lag that raises early with one caller i have AK and 3 bet. raiser folds and other player calls. flop comes 8 K 2 two spades. he leads out and i just flat. turn is a blank. he checks i bet he shoves i call and he has AK of spades. river is a spade. and in a short hour i lost 5 buyins (50$) and log off frustrated. again i will do another post about this topic a little later

well my mom came to see me on tuesday to get some lunch and after fighting with my girl. work was frustrating i was a little frustrated. she showed up late and i was all upset and had an argument with her. so yeah i got my mom all pissed at me as well. which i hate doing. im not even going to attempt to run any daygame this weeknd. plus ive got a couple lovely pimples on my face that just look so inviting.

so yeah that was my week of crap. im just going to not try and do much this weeknd except maybe watch some pickup material and browse the poker forum and look at shit on the internet. my spirits are hard to crash specially with a little variance like this so i will quote a line from the movie "batman: the dark night"

"The sky is darkest just before dawn, and i promise you dawn is coming"

stay tuned for the next couple posts if your interested in the indepth thoughts of the subjects i mentioned.